Josh: How long a walk would you say it is from here to Haffley's office?
Angela: Five or ten minutes.
Josh: Secret Service's going to love this.
Bartlet: During the campaign, I visited the Westford Rehabiliation Center there. They're closed today too because of the shutdown. But if Congress has their way, it will lose 40 percent of it's funding. I'd rather see it shut down for a week than for good.
Josh: Mr. President.
Bartlet: Excuse me.
Josh: The Capitol is just a five or ten minute walk from here. Care to stretch your legs?
Bartlet: I'm sorry folks, I've got a meeting on the Hill.
Tourist: You go get them, Mr. President!
Bartlet: You bet! Granville?
Agent Granville: Sir?
Bartlet: What do you say we walk the rest of the way?
Guns Not Butter (4.12)
CJ: Are you talking through the whole vote?
Danny: You're going to lose this one 60-40.
Danny: Did I ruin the end?
CJ: Could you even have thismuch sensitivity?
Danny: Cause you blew it.
CJ: The Senate blew it.
Danny: You did.
CJ: We did everything but pass a hat!
Danny: Nobody wants to put money in a hat in Botswana when you got hats that need filling here. You can't make this about charity, it's about self-interest. We cut farm assistance in Colombia - every single crop we developed was replaced with cocaine. We cut aid for primary education in northwest Pakistan and Egypt - the kids went to madrassas. Why weren't you making a case that Republican senators are bad on drugs, and bad on national security? Why are Democrats always so bumfuzzled?
Bartlet's Third State of the Union (2.13)
Sam: Where'd you get the bathrobe?
CJ: The gym.
Sam: There are bathrobes at the gym?
CJ: In the women's locker room.
Sam: But not the men's.
Sam: Now that's outrageous. There's a thousand men working here and 50 women.
CJ: Yeah, and it's the bathrobes that are outrageous.
Game On (4.6)
Moderator: Perhaps the biggest philosophical difference between you and the President is over the role of the federal government itself and whether national problems really have national solutions. Can you explain your view?
Governor Ritchie: Well, first, let me say good evening and thank you. It's a privilege to be here. My view of this is simple: we don't need a federal Department of Education telling us our children have to learn Esperanto, they have to learn Eskimo poetry. Let the states decide. Let the communities decide on health care, on education, on lower taxes, not higher taxes. Now, he's going to throw a big word at you: "unfunded mandate." If Washington lets the states do it, it's an unfunded mandate. But what he doesn't like is the federal government losing power. But I call it the ingenuity of the American people.
Moderator: President Bartlet, you have sixty seconds for a question and an answer.
Bartlet: Well first of all, let's clear up a couple of things. "Unfunded mandate" is two words, not one big word. There are times when we're fifty states and there are times when we're one country, and have national needs. And the way I know this is that Florida didn't fight Germany in World War II, or establish civil rights. You think states should do the governing wall-to-wall. That's a perfectly valid opinion. But your state of Florida got $12.6 billion in federal money last year from Nebraskans, and Virginians, and New Yorkers, and Alaskans, with their Eskimo poetry. 12.6 out of a state budget of $50 billion, and I'm supposed to be using this time for a question, so here it is: Can we have it back, please?
In The Shadow of Two Gunmen, part 1 (2.1)
Bartlet: Why are you doing this? You're a player! You're bigger in the party than I am. Hoynes would make you national chairman. Leo, tell me this isn't one of the twelve steps.
Leo: Yeah, that's what it is. Right after admitting we're powerless over alcohol and that a higher power can restore us to sanity, that's where you come in.
Leo: Because I'm tired of it. Year after year after year after year having to chose between the lesser of who cares, of trying to get myself excited about a candidate who can speak in complete sentences, of setting the bar so low, I can hardly look at it. They say a good man can't get elected President. I don't believe that, do you?
Bartlet: And you think I'm that man.
Bartlet: Does it matter that I'm not as sure?
Leo: Nah. Act as if ye have faith and faith shall be given to you. Put it another way, fake it till you make it. You did good tonight.
Leo: This is the time of Jed Bartlet, old friend. You're gonna open your mouth and lift houses off the ground. Whole houses, clear off the ground.
Enemies Foreign and Domestic (3.18)
Toby: I just wanted to give you a heads up: the Journal's gonna run an editorial with regard to broken promises in fiscal spending.
Bartlet: Oh man, the greatest campaign speech ever about money - FDR promises he's going to tighten our belts. What's he do when he gets here? Spends more than we knew could be spent. And it's cause he discovered it's better for long-term growth.
In the Shadow of Two Gunmen Part II (2.2)
Toby: CJ, Jed Bartlet is very impressed with you. He likes the work that you did with that girl's group with the stupid name.
CJ: Emily's List?
Mr. Willis of Ohio (1.6)
Mrs. Landhingham: Josh, aren’t you a little old to be leering at college coeds?
Josh: I’m a Fulbright scholar, Mrs. Landingham, I don’t leer. Also, there’ll be plenty of grad students there.
Mrs. Landingham: Oh well. Good then.
Six Meetings Before Lunch (1.18)
Margaret: Hey, Toby.
Toby: Hey there, Margaret.
Margaret: Are you okay?
Toby: Yeah. Why wouldn't I be okay?
Margaret: You don't usually say, "Hey there, Margaret."
Toby: What do I usually say?
Margaret: You usually growl something inaudible.
Toby: Not today.
Margaret: I see.
Toby: You, on the other hand, should turn that frown upside down.
Margaret: I'm sorry?
Toby: Let your smile be your umbrella, Margaret.
Margaret: Okay, now you're scaring the crap out of me, Toby.