The West Wing Quote(s) of the Day

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Wed, 17 Apr 2013 21:55:53 -0400

“Do you think the joke reflex you use as a defense mechanism is...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 13:13:00 -0400

“Do you think the joke reflex you use as a defense mechanism is why you have so much trouble keeping a man?” “You know—” “I’m saying, we’re 44 hours from the State of the Union and he doesn’t look so good.” (1x12 - He Shall, From Time to Time)

Evidence of Things Not Seen (4.20)

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 09:33:21 -0400

CJ: At the exact moment of the equinox. At the exact moment of the equinox.
Josh: It doesn't work.
CJ: It does work. It has to be the exact moment of the equinox.
Josh: It doesn't work.
CJ: I've seen it.
Josh: I've tried it.
CJ: And?
Josh: It doesn't work.
CJ: I don't think you did it at the exact moment.
Josh: I did.
CJ: When?
Josh: Last September.
CJ: That was the Autumnal equinox.
Josh: It only works for the Vernal equinox?
CJ: Yeah.
Josh: You know what's more likely?
CJ: That it doesn't work at all?

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Tue, 19 Mar 2013 08:49:18 -0400

Favorite West Wing Moments: “The Two Bartlets” “I have a...

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 20:49:12 -0400

Favorite West Wing Moments: “The Two Bartlets”

“I have a phone call waiting that’s being relayed through four satellites.”

The Stackhouse Filibuster (2.17)

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 20:18:46 -0500

CJ: Guys, I'm sorry, but you know what? Listen, seriously, you're looking at democracy at work. It's a beautiful thing.
Reporter: And how much more beauty can we be expecting tonight, CJ?
CJ: Well, I wouldn't think it would be that much longer.
Reporter 2: He's got a recipe book, CJ.
CJ: Yeah, but how many recipes can there be? 20? 30?

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Mon, 25 Feb 2013 08:44:15 -0500

He Shall, From Time To Time (1.12)

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 10:56:34 -0500

Bartlet: "And how do we make the American dream of opportunity a reality for all? I came to this hallowed chamber one year ago" - and I see we're spelling 'hallowed' with a pound sign in the middle of it.
Sam: We'll fix that.
Bartlet: The pound sign's silent?
Leo: Move on, Mr. President.
Bartlet: "I came to this hallowed chamber one year ago on a mission: to restore the American dream for all our people, as we gaze at the vast horizon of possibilities open to us in the 321st century." - Wow, that was ambitious of me, wasn't it?
Sam: Leo.
Leo: Let's take a break.
Bartlet: We meant 'stronger' here, right?
Sam: What's it say?
Bartlet: "I'm proud to report our country's stranger than it was a year ago?"
Sam: That's a typo.
Bartlet: Could go either way.

Bartlet's Third State of the Union (2.13)

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 09:06:31 -0500

Mrs. Landingham: The President was balancing his checkbook and came across an outstanding check for $500 that was never cashed. A check was written by the First Lady to a woman the President has never heard of and he would like you to ask her about it.
Charlie: The President was balancing his checkbook?
Mrs. Landingham: Yeah.
Charlie: Why?
Mrs. Landingham: He does it to relax.
Charlie: Okay.
Mrs. Landingham: Yeah.
Charlie: And why doesn't he ask the First lady about the $500 check himself in the normal course of, you know, being married to her.
Mrs. Landingham: When the President inquires into the First Lady's personal bookkeeping, the First Lady gets angry at him and yells.
Charlie: Well, she's gonna get angry and yell when I inquire too.
Mrs. Landingham: Well, the President doesn't care so much about that.

H. Con 172 (3.10)

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 18:55:02 -0500

Donna: You know if it has started snowing yet?
Carol: It hasn't.
Donna: How's it supposed to be 18 inches by morning if it hasn't started yet?
Carol: Accumulates by a magnitude, does a thing, I don't know.

What Kind of Day Has It Been (1.22)

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 16:08:08 -0500

Bartlet: Mrs. Landingham, I'm watching a live sporting event from start to finish tonight.
Mrs. Landingham: And when Sacramento State and the University of the Pacific get together, it's usually a barnburner, sir.
Bartlet: You're not going to spoil my good time for me.
Mrs. Landingham: Oh sir, I think we both know from experience that's not true.

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Sat, 02 Feb 2013 15:43:34 -0500

Let Bartlet Be Bartlet (1.19)

Sun, 27 Jan 2013 17:48:44 -0500

Mrs. Landingham: You know what this is, don't you, sir?
Bartlet: What what is?
Mrs. Landingham: Your mood, sir.
Bartlet: What's wrong with my mood?
Mrs. Landingham: It's your diet.
Bartlet: Will you get off me with that?
Mrs. Landingham: You're not getting enough roughage in your diet, and you know I'm right about that.
Bartlet: I know I'd like to beat you senseless with a head of cabbage, I know that for damn sure.
Mrs. Landingham: Once again, you display an immaturity about vegetables that I think is not at all presidential.

Six Meetings Before Lunch (1.18)

Sun, 27 Jan 2013 12:38:24 -0500

Josh: Leo, I'm a white guy from Connecticut.
Leo: We've met, Josh.
Josh: I'm saying, isn't this kind of a delicate subject for me to get into with a black civil rights lawyer from Athens, Georgia?
Leo: Remember, you're also Jewish.

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Sun, 27 Jan 2013 08:31:00 -0500

Celestial Navigation (1.15)

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 17:41:17 -0500

CJ: I have a dentist appointment at noon.
Sam: What's wrong?
CJ: Nothing's wrong. I'm experiencing some pain.
Sam: For how long?
CJ: A month now but it'll go away by itself.
Sam: When?
CJ: When I die, Sam.

The Crackpots and These Women (1.5)

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 09:29:56 -0500

Bartlet: Charlie, my youngest daughter Zoe is down from Hanover. I'm making chili tonight - it's her favorite.
Charlie: Sir, you know the First Lady does not want you to -
Bartlet: The First Lady's in Pakistan, I can eat whatever I want.
Charlie: Yes, sir.
Bartlet: I'm gonna need some ingredients.
Charlie: Like what?
Leo: Well, he'll need some chili.

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc (1.2)

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 20:26:26 -0500

Bartlet: CJ, on your tombstone it's going to read "post hoc, ergo propter hoc."
CJ: Okay, but none of my visitors are going to be able to understand my tombstone.
Bartlet: 27 lawyers in the room, anybody know "post hoc, ergo propter hoc?" Josh?
Josh: Uh, uh, post - after, after hoc, ergo - therefore...after hoc, therefore something else hoc.

Pilot (1.1)

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 19:42:28 -0500

Sam: Is that the same suit you wore yesterday?
Josh: Yeah. You?
Sam: Yeah.

Mr. Willis of Ohio (1.6)

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 11:02:45 -0500

Sam: CJ, we've been working on this commerce bill for three weeks. I hear you talk about the census all the time.
CJ: Yeah. Yeah.
Sam: Well, I don't understand. How could you -
CJ: I've been faking it.
Sam: You've been faking it?
CJ: I've been playing it fast and loose, there's no doubt about it, but sitting in on some of the meetings we've been having, and reading the briefing book last night, I have to say that the census is starting to sound to me like it's, well, important.
Sam: Ah-ha.
CJ: And, I've come to the realization that if I'm gonna be talking about it all week, it's probably best that I understand what I'm saying.
Sam: When?
CJ: When what?
Sam: When did you come to this realization?
CJ: About an hour ago.
Sam: Okay. Let's... I tell you what, let's forget the fact that you're coming a little late to the party and embrace the fact that you showed up at all.